ONLINE REGISTRATION IS FINALLY UP!
Will take place
July 12th,
2008 in Enid, OK.
What The Hell?
The Running of The Rats is an all-makes motorsickle poker run starting in Enid, OK.
Each year we run a unique route of around 150 miles.
$20 pre-registration gets you the run, shirt, bike games, and the concert.
Half of the proceeds go to the participants. the remainder to the fund.
More questions and answers below.
An Oklahoma Centennial Project
RatRun
Related Links:
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Click an image for
pictures from that year's events.
Frequently
Asked Questions (FAQ):
Updated questions are
highlighted.
Last Edited:
06/23/08 09:42 PM
Click on the question to be taken to the answers ...
What the hell is the 'Running Of The Rats'?
What is this Iron Liver thing?
Why July? It's hot in July ... waaaaahhhhh ...
Where are the flyers and sign-up sheets?
Where can I pick up copies of the flyers?
What do I get if I pay your dumb ass $20?
Are you serious with this disclaimer lawyerese hold harmless agreement at the bottom?
Is the t-shirt some 50/50 piece of shit that'll fall apart in the wash?
How do I know you're actually benefiting a scholarship fund and not just drinking the money?
Will the Mike McClure Band be back this year?
Other than the starting point where are we going?
Should I bring a knife or gun?
What if I want to set up as a vendor?
Can I sign up and pay over the internet?
What if I pay in advance, but can't make it?
What if I write you a bad check?
What if all I want is to come listen to the concert?
What if I only want the poker run and not your tacky shirt?
Do I need a separate sign up sheet for my passenger/date/hooker?
Why is it cheaper to sign up before July 9th?
Is my passenger/date/hooker the same price as me? Why not less?
What if I come over there and kick your ass?
What if I tie with someone for best or worst hand?
Will there be door prizes and giveaways?
At least a wet t-shirt contest?
Can I make donations directly to the Scholarship Fund?
What if there's a big-ass tornado and we're all killed?
Can I wear club colors to this gig?
Will there be a law enforcement presence?
What if I decide I don't want to finish the poker run?
Will you take my daughter to the prom?
Can I copy and distribute these flyers?
Will The Twisted Lizard be there?
These bands, what the hell do they play?
Will you have the same route for the run every year?
Isn't "RatBoy" sort of a cruel name?
Is this Iron Liver thing some sort of 1%er club?
Can't I just wait and sign-up on the day of?
How will I get my t-shirt and information?
Can you just sign me up now for the $20 and I'll pay the day of?
How come I didn't see you at Sparks?
Isn't National Ride To Work Day the Wednesday after the poker run?
Can my under-21 kid/friend/date/hooker attend with me?
Can I ask my girlfriend to marry me on your stage?
Can I get a "RATBIK" license plate tattoo?
If I suck will you tell me discreetly, or how will it occur?
Do you have any t-shirts left from last year?
The first year all shirts were $20 regardless of size, why the extra charge this year?
Can I link to this page from my own?
How long do I have to sign up? When is the deadline?
Why don't you order more shirts to sell the day of the run?
Didn't find your question here? Or do you just have another smart-assed remark to send? Click Here.
What the hell is the 'Running Of The Rats'?
This poker run was conceived as a way to benefit the Kyle Traynor Memorial Scholarship Fund. Kyle "RatBoy" Traynor was killed with his friend Matt in a car wreck, June of '98. It sucked. A lot. So ... amongst other things, his friends started a memorial scholarship fund afterwards and award it to a deserving student who embodies The RatBoy's qualities. Kyle enjoyed motorsickle rides about as much as anything, and so the Rat Run was a natural choice. Besides, it gives us a chance to ride motorsickles, hang out with our friends, and act up a little. All appropriate actions considering the cause. Money raised by your enrollment in this event goes to pay for the commemorative shirts and expenses (band, sound, promotion & advertising, printing, etc.). All proceeds after expenses are tallied and half goes to the Scholarship Fund. The remainder is awarded as poker run prize money: 70% to the best hand, 30% to the worst.
In 2003 we awarded $1150 in prize money and approximately 350 riders raised $1300 for the scholarship
fund.
In 2004 we awarded $2150 in prize money and approximately 700 riders raised $2500 for the
scholarship
fund.
In 2005 we awarded $2200 in prize money and approximately 800 riders raised
$2550 for the scholarship fund.
In 2006 we awarded $2500 in prize money and approximately 850 riders raised
$3000 for the scholarship fund.
If he was up your ass you'd know it. Wait, that was uncalled for ... as explained above Kyle was killed in a car wreck in June of '98. He was only 20 years old, brilliant, a great friend, a hell of a brother, and one of the nicest guys anyone ever knew. The kind of guy you'd call if you woke up in a motel room with a dead hooker. Again. So in the spirit of his memory sober friends and family started a memorial scholarship fund. This poker run and the events following intend to provide funds for the scholarship annually. You got a problem with that? Didn't think so.
Essentially you pay up, sign a waiver of liability, and get a map with five locations at which to stop. Hop on your motorsickle, go to the designated stops, draw a card from some very helpful individual, record the drawn card on your map's form, proceed and repeat. At the end we'll gather forms and determine the winner of the best and worst hands. Rules according to Hoyle. And, let's be sure everyone reads this; best hand and WORST hand. Not "low" hand. Worst damned hand. If you want to bitch and whine start your own run. Decisions of the judges are final. Period. Blah blah blah ... Mostly it's an excuse to ride all day with people who do not suck, then rock and roll all night with bands that kicks ass.
I don't know, can you? Or did you mean, "May I drive a car?" Well then, yes: you may drive a car in the poker run. It makes absolutely no difference to us as long as you participate in good humor and give motorsickles the right of way. But really, wouldn't it be more fun on a motorsickle? Look, buy a used motorsickle. Or buy a new bike. It'll be worth it to ride in this event. In years past several of our motorsickle-challenged friends carpooled and it worked out great for them. We fully expect them to buy motorsickles this year. You know who you are; get a bike or get beaten.
A loosely-unorganized non-collection of like-minded beer-swilling goons denying membership or association with each other at all costs. Basically a network of friends scattered from Texas through Oklahoma, Kansas, Colorado, and even Ohio who dig riding together. Membership subject to whim, fun tolerance abilities, lack of a trailer, unanimous acceptance, an oijua board, and Slats' discarded chicken bones. This is not a traditional MC and not intended as any sort of insult or parody to the venerable Iron Butt Riders. Although, if you ride with us your ass will be fine while your liver will be shot. We don't claim territory, don't run a three-piece patch - or a patch of any sort, and don't have the attention span to organize into a coherent organization. For a rambling, incoherent, half-assed explanation / rant click here.
What? This website? Yes. It is paid for and written by a troll locked in the basement of a dingy bar. All models are at least 18 years of age, and no animals were hurt in the development of this website. Do you mean this whole "Iron Liver" thing? Yes. We're not claiming territory, so as not to anger our 1%'er friends, and thus far we haven't beaten anyone to death for stealing our ideas - but it's early in the game. Or did you mean riding a motorsickle? Yes, motorsickles are legal in Oklahoma. In fact you can even wear a helmet if you want, but it's not mandatory ... freedom is so cool. Go America! All other legal questions should be directed to our legal department.
Northwest Oklahoma, a veritable jewel shining on the open plain. The Princeton of the Prairie. An oasis for the tired and downtrodden. The kind of place you visit, then move to. Enid is a great place to raise a kid and a terrific place to learn about airplanes. We have an Air Force Flying Training Wing, Vance Air Force Base, staffed by the world's greatest pilots. We have more per capita parks, churches, and nosy neighbors than anywhere else in Oklahoma. On top of all that, we DON'T have the following: mudslides; volcanoes; hurricanes; earthquakes; third-world hunger and disease, bloody coups, or Euro-trash tourists. Our weather is predictable, and you can see a thunderstorm coming for hours beforehand. You'll like Enid, I assure you. For a map to Enid, click here.
The Frisco Bar, 608 North Independence. An Enid landmark for over 50 years, this local institution has been a meeting place and starting point for countless motorsickle rides. Not to mention the community of friends which congregate here regularly. We'll start at The Frisco, distribute shirts, maps, and directions, then blaze a trail. Every participant will be free to progress at their own pace. No concerted effort will be made to tell you when to leave, how long to stay at each stop, or when it's time to go. You have a map, you have a motorsickle, you have plenty of time ... try to have fun. If you are unable to have fun fun will be had for you. Do you understand these tenets?
Also, there will be a Friday night pre-party at Crappy's Warehouse where we'll be able to distribute RatRun shirts and poker run maps for the next day. Details are still in the works but we plan to have designated motorsickle parking, cold beer outside, bands inside, and RatRun goodies for all those who have pre-registered.
Why July? It's hot in July ... waaaaahhhhh ...
Because cold weather sucks. Wouldn't you rather have a sunburn than frostbite? We all know 2003 was incredibly hot - unseasonably hot, even for July. At one point in the ride the thermometers were reading 115 degrees. But in 2004 we were blessed with the kind of motorsickle weather a person only dreams about. 80-something and a few sprinkles we'd have killed for the year before. 2005 was pretty hard to beat as well. So we'll take our chances and build some character. Also; Pawhuska is in May, wheat harvest and Sparks are in June, Sturgis is in August, Waynoka is always the first weekend after Easter, basically ... this is it. July or December. See above re: cold. Besides, a nice warm July night, cold beer and a Rock And Roll band ... motorsickles and hoodlums ... what more could you possibly want? Hookers? Bring your own. Bring extra.
With one eye.
Where are the flyers and sign-up sheets?
Flyers for the Fourth Annual event are available here. They're in Adobe pdf format. Adobe is the standard document reader, and it's free. If you don't have Adobe Reader now, click here to download it for free. Get the flyers, print 'em, hang 'em up, give 'em away ... whatever.
Where can I pick up copies of the flyers?
We will put copies of the flyers up anywhere people will let us. This means every time we make some sort of drunken road trip, we're hanging up flyers. We'll be putting them everywhere ... And, of course, in the various stops designated for the run. Additionally, we will mail them to everyone for whom we have a legitimate snail mail address. Unless you suck, then you're not getting a flyer. In fact, if you suck we'll probably send you a flyer with the wrong date on it just so you don't show up and want to hang out with all the cool kids. You'll know who you are when you get a flyer dated "December 15th." For a list of places where flyers are available click here.
What do I get if I pay your dumb ass $20?
You'll get the following: day-of the run (or at Crappy's the night before) we'll have your t-shirt, a map of the places we'll hit with a form to fill out for the cards you'll draw at our stops, and admission to the concert afterwards. Not to mention the satisfaction of knowing you've assisted some cat's quest for higher learning while riding your motorsickle in the sunshine. Later you'll settle in for an evening concert that will just kick all kinds of ass. Normally you might get a t-shirt for $20. And it'd probably be a piece of shit. This one rocks, 100% Cotton, black, screen printed. And for less than what a shirt would cost at your local HD dealer you'll get the shirt, a poker run with a chance to win the pot, a ride with your friends, door prizes, the pleasure of hanging around people who do not suck, the entertainment of watching some jackass burn the back tires off a horribly overpriced motorcycle, and a concert following. Not to mention the 'warm fuzzy feeling' that comes with helping a worthy cause.
Are you serious with this disclaimer lawyerese hold harmless agreement at the bottom?
Yes. Damned serious. No sign-off, no ride. The world is chocked plum-full of brain dead reprobates unable and unwilling to take responsibility for their own actions. People sue McDonald's because they're stupid enough to spill hot coffee or get fat sucking fries. The last thing we want from this deal is to have to kill someone who wants to sue us, the sponsors, participants or the Scholarship Fund because they're too stupid to ride responsibly. So, let's all keep the sue-happy ass bandits out of our pockets and away from the scumbag ambulance chasing lawyers (you know who you are). For your protection and ours - like a liability rubber. Sign the waiver, it's for your protection as well as ours. Read it first, of course.
Is the t-shirt some 50/50 piece of shit that'll fall apart in the wash?
Of course not, would we do that to you? Hell no, we'll wear the shirt too. The shirts are 100% Cotton silk-screened (not transferred) front and back. They're printed by the fine crew at Causley's in Stillwater, OK. Previous year's shirts were well-received and can be seen on discriminating goons in bars from Stugis to Daytona. Click here to see previous year's commemorative shirts. Next year's shirt will again feature the RATBIK tag on the front, but a new and original design on the back.
The design for the back of the shirt will change each year, click here for previous year's design. We promise to give you a quality 3-color design that does not suck. We're not printing pictures of smiling teddy bears on "choppers" or some such nonsense. The front of the shirt will remain very similar each year with only the annual renewal sticker changing to reflect the current year. How convenient is that?
Potentially a payoff at the end to go along with the aforementioned warm fuzzy feeling you'll have from helping fund a worthy cause. When was the last time you read "warm fuzzy" on a motorsickle site? Thrice? At the conclusion of the run 50% of the proceeds go immediately into the Memorial Scholarship Fund. The remaining 50% is awarded to poker run attendees as follows: 70% to the Best Poker Hand, 30% to the worst. Prize money is, of course, directly related to the amount of people who sign up. So get your friends involved and you might go home with some of their money. The more people who participate, the more money we have to award - both to the scholarship fund as well as our participants. Woo Hoo!
How do I know you're actually benefiting a scholarship fund and not just drinking the money?
How stupid would it be for us to abscond with funds and give no one any money? Do you really think we want a bunch of pissed off bikers in really cool RatRun t-shirts hunting us down for payment? Now that'd just be stupid. We're not smart, but we're not that dumb. In 2003 we contributed $1300 to the Kyle Traynor Memorial Scholarship Fund. $2500 in 2004. We considered telling everyone who signed up who won the scholarship but ruled against that on the basis of privacy concerns and the fact it would be rejected by most mail recipients as spam. Each year a student is awarded $1,000. Some years we have given away multiple awards - it all depends on RatRun attendance.
Will the Mike McClure Band be back this year?
We think so. Depends on if they're parole officers allow them to travel, or if Eric's date du jour lets him come out and play. Negotiations with authorities are still in the works.
Yes. Yes I can. I choose not to. Rather I opt for the Arlo Guthrie pronunciation, phonically spelled "motorsickle." Besides, it sounds cooler. And I don't want a pickle ...
The catch is: you'll have to ride the motorsickle. This is not a trailer run. We're not sponsored by featherlite. Trailers are for Boats, ask Uncle Louie. The other catch is: you may find someone you like riding with, or a place to ride you forgot about, possibly never knew. You might even decide to sell your car, toss all your hygiene products, quit your job, and ride for a living. Just a warning. There is no catch, not that I know of. Unless accidentally having a good time is a catch. Or being tricked into riding that motorsickle trophy. Come on, no-ride, get out on the road.
Other than the starting point where are we going?
Around 150 miles, a nice lazy ride. Enough to get a mild sunburn, but not enough to earn any sort of Iron Butt certificates. 150 miles is nothing, especially if you're riding with your friends. You do have a friend, don't you? Bring him. Suggestions for Poker Run Stops will be entertained - either for this year or in the future. Email Me. Tentative plans have us ending the run at the Garfield County Fairgrounds, again, for bike games and debauchery.
Should I bring a knife or gun?
No place we'll be headed is that rough. And if it is, they'll supply appropriate weapons at the door. Take the gun.
No schedule. No one will harass you to leave one location to hit another, or stay right on the map. This is not a group ride; you'll get a map and you can complete the route if you want. We don't care. We've no time line and no schedule to keep. This is relaxation, not a class field trip. We'll have first bike out of the Frisco around 10:00am, last bike out around 1:00pm (1300 hrs for those of you just returning from the sandbox). Beyond that, make your own rules. After dark, exact time will be noted on your map/info sheet, we'll cut off entries for the poker hands and award the prizes before the entertainment begins. Other than that, we're all grown ups - we can get around. Or if you decide never to leave the second stop ... no problem. For a general outline of the day's schedule click here.
Yes, of course. Nothing happens without beer. This entire idea, like our Nation, was founded on too many beers. And, like the founding fathers, we'll be fighting hangovers come Sunday. The ending point for the run, Garfield County Fairgrounds, will have beer a beer truck on hand and room to sleep next to your bike. Conveniently.
What if I want to set up as a vendor?
Contact Us. We are currently taking applications for vendor space. We will offer vendor space for a minimal fee. Electrical hookups are available as well. More information is available.
Can I sign up and pay over the internet?
Yes. We offer the option to sign up and pay via internet and PayPal. Click Here for information. The PayPal site is down now, but will be back up by 1 March for pre-registration.
What if I pay in advance, but can't make it?
We will have the shirts available at The Frisco Bar from a week or so after the run. Those who have ordered shirts beforehand, as well as those who ordered day-of will be able to pick up their shirts then. If that doesn't work Contact Us and we'll figure out a way to get them to you.
What if I write you a bad check?
I'll come to your house and defecate in your living room.
What if all I want is to come listen to the concert?
Concert admission will be $8.
What if all I want is a t-shirt and the concert?
A t-shirt is $20. If you sign up beforehand this includes admission to the concert afterwards. 2X is two dollars extra, 3X is four dollars extra. Not our idea, just passing on what it costs us. If you buy a shirt the day of the event concert admission will not be included. So, on the day-of the run concert and a shirt will be $28. Before the cutoff date; $20.
What if I only want the poker run and not your tacky shirt?
What are you, some kind of jackass? Well, the poker run is $10 per person without a shirt. Which also works good if you and your date only want one shirt but both want to gather a hand in the poker run. Additionally, if you are signed up for the poker run you will be given a ticket to the concert afterwards.
Do I need a separate sign up sheet for my passenger/date/hooker?
Yes. Everyone who participates in the poker run will need to sign their own waiver.
Why is it cheaper to sign up before July 7th?
Because the t-shirt printing gurus want to know how many shirts to make in plenty of time to get them done. And, it allows us to plan more effectively. For example: if we have a rough idea how many fine people will be in attendance we'll know whether we'll need a full National Guard Battalion to quell the riot afterwards or if local police can handle it ...
Is my passenger/date/hooker the same price as me? Why not less?
Everyone who participates is charged the exact same amount. Rider, passenger, onlooker, undercover narc, etc. The reason for this is simple: everyone gets a souvenir shirt and an opportunity to win the poker run. If you and your date decide you'd rather have only one shirt, then sign up early for a $20 shirt and run package, then when you get to the Frisco the day of the run buy your date a run card for $10. Groovy, huh? See, we're here to help ...
What if I come over there and kick your ass?
Well, then I'd come to your house and do awful things to you. Pliers, ball peen hammers, bats, fire, slaughtered livestock etc. ... Which would start an escalating conflict that could go on for months, even years. And we don't need that. A back-and-forth repetitive ass-kicking contest, where the only people who win are your local funeral home ... there's enough violence in the world. Let's just get along.
What if I tie with someone for best or worst hand?
We'll decide the winner by determining who has the most miles on his or her motorsickle. If that, for some reason, is insufficient we'll stage a winner-take-all knife fight at the front of the stage. Or possibly flip a coin. Whichever seems more fun at the time. If you still want to whine and complain we will have you beaten and stuffed in a chipper shredder. Yes, you read that right. A chipper shredder, Punk.
Will there be door prizes and giveaways?
Yes. Last year we had some great Door Prizes donated by some very helpful cats; Snap-On, Mac, and others.. This year we hope to have similar participation, but we don't beg for freebies. The fine folks at Pope Distributing, who sell us Coors and Miller products, are ordering very groovy giveaways. So we'll see what happens ...
Probably not. Bike shows are a pain in the ass. Regardless who wins someone is pissed. Plus, this is about riding your motorsickle. If we started a bike show we'd be over run with no-riding trailer queen wanna-bes on bikes they didn't build and are too scared to ride. And you know what those people are like, we don't want that element hanging around besmirching our good name with their penny loafers and gelled hair. So a bike show is unlikely. Unless it's a ride in show. Hell, this deal is a freak show as it is. Isn't that enough?
Of course. The infamous and overqualified Shovelhead Owner's Society from OKC ran the bike games previous years, and did a hell of a job. Everyone dug the shit out of the games. Professional bike game hoodlums ... how cool is that?
At least a wet t-shirt contest?
Probably not. Thus far this has been planned as an almost-all-ages event. People are welcome to bring their kids out to the concert afterwards, and that makes for an environment inhospitable to naked chicks on stage. Come to Pawhuska. Or Sparks. They both rock balls, and you'll be so sick of naked women by the time you get outta there you'll never ask this again.
Sure. Give out flyers. Bring along some friends who don't suck. Have a good time and watch out for others. But as far as running the event, so far we have it covered. Of course, if you have any suggestions, they're always welcome. Just email.
Can I make donations directly to the Scholarship Fund?
Of course. While soliciting contributions directly is not what this is all about, if you feel so inclined it is absolutely welcome.
The concert will be held regardless of rain sleet snow or hail. Rain date for the ride is Sunday, day after the run. If that fails to work out we may try for the next weekend, but that's two weeks before Sturgis - lots of packing and such to be done. If things just fall completely apart; monsoons and death-dealing storms from hell, we'll either try for Sunday, increase the following year's pot for winners, or offer all this year's registrants a significant discount on next year's event. How's that sound? Basically; we're not going to screw you.
If it snows I'll change my name to P. Diddy, get some "fly gear" and dance around like an idiot. Promise.
Why are people asking this? You're trying to annoy us, aren't you. You will get a sunburn. In fact, you'll be lucky if you don't die of heatstroke. But you'll be in good company. And someone who participated in the First Annual RatRun will probably tell you, "It's not as bad as the first one." Hell wouldn't be as bad as the first one. 2006 was hot, but not nearly as hot as our inaugural run. It's July, kids. The odds of it being a little warm are pretty good. But warm weather just encourages the beauty queens to wear less clothing. Yeah ...
What if there's a big-ass tornado and we're all killed?
Then next year it'll be a small run.
Yes. There are. Some chains, some locally owned. Travelocity and Priceline, have listings for Enid, and there is a page of local lodging available by clicking here. In addition, we have a very nice place here in Enid, Maple Place Bed & Breakfast, which is very nice. Not a late-night party spot, but the perfect place if you want somewhere comfortable and quiet after the event. The Garfield Co. Fairgrounds also offers RV hook ups for those folks who'll be bringing a home with them. Also, Highpoint RV Park here in Enid has RV spaces, camping spots, and showers. Every year we have several folks who party hard, drink plenty of beer, and just sleep at the fairgrounds. Nothing wrong with that. Much better than a DUI. Or worse.
Can I wear club colors to this gig?
Of course. This isn't a Daytona yuppie bar after all. As long as other's Colors are respected and turf battles are left elsewhere. We'll be in the public eye, so the less we stab, shoot, and beat the shit out of each other the better. Any true 1% patch holder we've ever known had enough class not to need a babysitter, so we don't foresee this being an issue.
Will there be a law enforcement presence?
Isn't there always? Bikers, sunshine, laughs, good fun, beer, motorsickles, loud pipes, loud music ... yeah, it has all the necessary elements to attract a strong presence of our friends in the business of keeping the peace. For the past four years law enforcement was very considerate of the event and there was little or no harassment. Hopefully we can conduct ourselves in a way so as not to give anyone an excuse to ruin this party.
Well, Corey, just like the last 50 times there will probably be all kinds of people stopping to troubleshoot, help, and make fun of you. Sort of like when you get stuck in the snow, people live for that shit. However if you need parts, there happen to be a Harley-Davidson oriented motorsickle repair shop here in Enid; Prairie Cycles. We also have Rainbow Sports, which carries Yamaha, Honda, and Kawasaki. And Sanders Sporting Goods, who carries Polaris and Suzuki. If none of these cats can help you really are screwed.
What if I decide I don't want to finish the poker run?
Then by all means, don't. Hang out in one of the stops, head somewhere else for a meal with friends, get lost and call for directions, or just park your bike and drink beer. This is by no means a cub scout kind of gig. No one is going to be rounding up troops at each stop and trying to keep everyone on a schedule. Run at your own pace, you're a big boy, you can handle it. Besides with as many people as will be involved riding in one big group is just not a good idea.
Food is good. Food will be available along the way at stops, as well as at the end of the ride. Additionally, there will be various points offering good food which may not be poker run stops, but are good places to get a bite anyway. We'll mention those on your map.
Water will be a must, it is July after all. Rest assured water will be available, the last thing we want is dehydrated heatstroke victims clogging up the route with their bloated carcasses.
Will you take my daughter to the prom?
Does that really seem like a good idea to you? I mean, come on ... I'm a mean bitter rotund married guy with a pile of pent-up carnal frustration. Hell, if I were getting laid enough would I be doing this? No, I don't think it's a good idea for me to take your daughter to the prom. Unless she's hot. Email a picture.
Can I copy and distribute these flyers?
Absolutely. Print them off at home, thousands of copies, hang them in your favorite bar, office, cell, church, synagogue, roadside shitter. Take them woth you to motorsickle events. Take them to your court date. Take them to doctor's appointments. Get them out there and sign up your friends. Bring people who don't suck. People who like to ride and have fun.
Yeah. He's the guy who told me, the day before my wedding, "Never leave home without your jacket and don't fuck around on your old lady." Solid advice. I was expecting something a bit more philosophical ... but that was still pretty good.
It's not a crime if you don't get caught.
Of course Jap bikes are welcome. As long as you ride, sign a waiver, and aren't french. We've no problem with Japanese bikes. Or for that matter Beemers, Urals, Ducatis, Indian, Vincent, HRD, Excelsior, Victory, Ariel Square 4's, Crockers, Triumph, Norton, Royal Enfield, Rudge, FN, BSA, Bultaco, Mustang, Cushman, etc. In fact, if you show up on a Vincent Black Shadow we'll sign you up free.
Then stay home. The last thing we need is a gaggle of chicken-shit rifle-dropping ass-stinking surrender monkeys clogging the place with body odor, poor manners, and cowardice. No, I think if you are a croissant-sucking frog the best place for you would be france. Stay there, you piss-ant pussies. When we need your help we'll ask for it, for instance if we end up with too many leftover volatile bombs after crushing these Iraqi bastards would it be okay to drop them off with you on the way home, you fecal-stained small-dicked losers. We might strap the Baldwin brothers, that dipshit Sean Penn, and the classless defeated scumbag Tom Dashcle to some ordinance as well, okay? Ass bandits. Fuque the french. No french allowed. french need not apply.
Look familiar, like home? Then piss off.
Will The Twisted Lizard be there?
He was here, the douchebag. And he brought his chick. No telling if he'll twist or not ... you'll just have to ask.
These bands, what the hell do they play?
The Mike McClure Band plays an eclectic mix of music that doesn't suck. On any given night you could hear classics from Dylan, Neil Young and Van Morrison as well as originals that kick all kinds of ass. What you won't hear is a steel guitar or anything a person could reasonably consider a line dance. If you see someone line dancing please escort them out, this is a respectable event and we won't tolerate any of that nonsense.
The rest of the bands are still yet to be decided. So check back for information ...
Will you have the same route for the run every year?
Oh no. The plan is to plot a new and exciting route every year, giving all our favorite stops some really groovy exposure. There are just so many spots we like to hit and not so much time to do it. If you know of a place we ought to include in a future run email and let us know. And yes, we know Hooters would be a great stop. But we'd need to plan ahead before dropping 700+ goons in their lap. This year's run will be around 150-160 miles, depending on the exact route one chooses. Easy miles with at least six stops.
Isn't "RatBoy" sort of a cruel name?
Yes. Why? Do you need a cruel moniker of your own? Cruel nicknames are a longstanding tradition in sibling relationships. So there. Plus, he had these prominent ears and nose ... so the nickname fit.
Is this Iron Liver thing some sort of 1%er club?
No. Absolutely not. It's not even a legitimate club. We claim no territory and are, for the most part, too lazy and unmotivated to maintain a real-live bad-ass 1% motorsickle club. While some of the cats involved live what might be considered a 1% lifestyle that's not the aim of this gig. Basically, it's just a group of people who ride. Sometimes together. Wanna study up on real 1%er clubs? Click Here.
Hell yeah! While the full-blown poker run will likely consist of 100 or so miles there's more than enough to do in and around the town of Enid if you don't feel like getting out on the highway. Besides, people will just go nuts for a nicely restored Cushman.
Can't I just wait and sign-up on the day of?
Sure. We'll have run cards and hold-harmless agreements ready that morning at The Frisco. However, be aware that we will run out of shirts. Again. Shirts are a first-come first-served gig. Unless you sign up prior to July 7th. If you'd like to sign up right now click here.
608 N. Independence in Enid, OK. Click here to be taken to a MapQuest site showing The Frisco.
How will I get my t-shirt and information?
On July 14th, around or before 10:00 am, t-shirts and run maps will be distributed to all registrants on the back porch of The Frisco Bar at 608 N. Independence in Enid, OK. Day-of registrations will also be accepted. $10 to participate in the poker run, and an additional $20 for a t-shirt, while supplies last. All on the back porch of The Frisco which, coincidentally, also happens to be the first stop on the poker run.
-OR-
You can come to Crappy's Friday, July 13th for the Pre-Run Goonfest. We'll line out some bands, and we'll have shirts and maps available for those folks who have pre-registered. How cool is that? You have to pre-register to pick up your shirt and map Friday night.
Yes, you still have to pay. Unless your name is Phillip ...
To the designated stops, which will be named and illustrated on the map you'll receive Saturday morning at The Frisco. Oh ... did you mean where, exactly? We haven't listed the stops prior to the day of just in case any of the participants punk out on us - or piss us off. Like the Cleo bar. It'll be around 150-160 miles. You could make it longer if you like - you'll have plenty of time. Several people asked for a longer route in years past, so we decided to give this a shot.
Can you just sign me up now for the $20 and I'll pay the day of?
Well, I'll tell you what. UNICEF isn't running
this son of a bitch yet, but when they jump in and give us a hand with the
finances on this undertaking we'll get all over that. Until then, No.
Before 7 July $20 for the package.
After: $20 for the shirt, $10 for the Poker Run. $30 total.
See the incentive?
How come I didn't see you at Sparks?
Because I was:
A) Avoiding you.
B) Passed out.
C) Hiding from JoeBuell.
D) All of the above.
Yes, we will. In fact all incriminating pictures will be used as blackmail after the run as an attempt to cover our expenses. Cost to remove from the website photo gallery will be relative to the amount of damage said photo can do. It's not like we want to ruin your life, this is simply another revenue stream to cover our costs. We have no sponsors, and as a grass-roots event we need to exploit every possible avenue for profit. If that avenue happens to be your misery ... oh well.
Okay, in all honesty we know better than to post pictures that don't need posted. Some people, for various reasons, don't need to appear where agents of the law might stumble across a picture ... If there's a camera present and you don't want your picture taken say so. If the photographer doesn't listen, sock 'em.
What the hell do I look like, a meteorologist? Yes it's gonna be hot. As hot as '03? I sincerely doubt it. Hot like that doesn't happen all the time, even in Oklahoma. But think about it, did you die? Are you sterile now? How many times since then have you bragged about enduring the heat? Did you drink a cold beer and develop some character? Looking back now was it fun? Did the heat weed out the no-riding candy-asses from the folks with balls? See ... so it wasn't that bad. Besides, in '04 the weather was so good you couldn't help but want to ride. It will be warm. It's July. Ever ride home in the cold December rain, Axl? That's worse. Sunburn beats the hell outta frostbite.
Isn't National Ride To Work Day the Wednesday after the poker run?
Yes, as a matter of fact it is. National Ride To Work Day is an annual event intended to raise motorcycle awareness and encourage people to ride their motorsickles for more than weekend recreation. Click here for more information, it's a good idea and the kind of activism even a jackass can support.
Can my under-21 kid/friend/date/hooker attend with me?
Yes, anyone under 21 is welcome to attend both the poker run and the events afterwards. However, be aware this is a motorsickle event. As such the majority of those in attendance will not be overly concerned with the delicate sensibilities and virgin ears of youngsters. If your underage companion will be surprised or offended by language, scantily clad women, beer consumption, and hoodlum behavior this might not be the best place for them.
Can I ask my girlfriend to marry me on your stage?
What's she gonna wear? And will she say 'No'? Because that'd be pretty damned funny. But yeah, feel free to make the biggest mistake of your life in front of everyone, Brent.
Can I get a "RATBIK" license plate tattoo?
Only if you get it on your forehead.
If I suck will you tell me discreetly, or how will it occur?
You'll either figure it out when no one wants to ride with you, when you get a flyer in the mail with a December date, or when Brian socks you.
Do you have any t-shirts left over from last year?
No. We ordered some extra but sold them as well. This year we will order extra shirts, but once those are sold they're gone. So, in order to ensure you get one of these cool-guy limited edition shirts sign up now.
The first year all shirts were $20 regardless of size, why the extra charge this year?
For the first year we failed to plan ahead and take into consideration the extra charge we would incur for the 2 and 3 X shirts. We absorbed this cost and did not pass it on to the participants. Therefore, just like a buffet, you big bastards got a hell of a deal. This year, we're simply passing on this cost to you. Economics, you see.
Can I link to this page from my own?
Sure. Click here for a page of crudely constructed banners for both the Iron Liver website as well as the Running Of The Rats page. The corresponding addresses are under each banner. Of course, we accept no responsibility for any consequences of associating yourself with us.
Since we will conclude the run at the Garfield County Fairgrounds, RV hook ups will be available. Call 580 237-0238 or click here for more information.
We'll conclude the poker run with bike games, cold beer, and the concert at the Garfield County Fairgrounds.
What if I sign up beforehand but don't make it to the Frisco in time? Can I get in the concert and get my shirt?
Of course! If you are unable for some reason to make it to the Frisco Bar to pick up your t-shirt, run map, and concert admission we'll have the shirts and admission with your name on them at the concert site. Just look for the RatRun Goons running the show, I'm sure we'll be easy to find, and we'll get you set up. Most likely we'll keep the list and information at the door for concert entrance.
How long do I have to sign up? When is the deadline?
Mail-in and in-person entries must be received no later than 7 July. This means it needs to be mailed early enough we receive it by the seventh. Online registration will end as soon as we've made the mail run on 7 July. So, you can procrastinate a bit longer if you have a PayPal account. However, the PayPal option will disappear as of July 7th. So get it in. After these dates poker run registration is virtually unlimited, but t-shirts will be available on a first-come first-served basis.
Why don't you order more shirts to sell the day of the run?
Why don't you just pre-order a shirt
so it doesn't matter? Huh?!
Okay ... we pre-order extra shirts to sell the day of the run but we do
so conservatively, this way we're not left with unsold shirts.
Like we say; this is a grass-roots operation and we buy to sell out. We
don't make any money, we give it away.
Pre-order and you've got a shirt.
Also, this assures you have an original shirt - different from the no-riding
wanna-bes out there. If you wanted to look like everyone else you could
just get some overpriced shit from
the Teutuls.
29 Jan., 04
